When I first heard that a Discordian sect was planning on attending AgoraFest this year, I immediately (after first notifying our security of course), posted on Craigslist Personals, under “casual encounters”, the following message:
Eris @ AgoraFest 2016? Is This Just Another Mindfuck? I Hope So! Plz Confirm/Deny ASAP! – Lord President Rosencrantz Merkwürdigliebe, AgoraFest Muckety-Muck
It wasn’t more than 2 or 3 minutes before I received a response:
OK, sure, we’ll be there. Thanks for inviting us! – Alfred Jarry, Ubu Roi of The Green Faced Ones
Now completely terrified, I decided to contact Mr Jarry to find out why he and his cabal are coming to AgoraFest, and whether his intentions are (dis)honorable. Here is the precis, the gist, the sum and substance, the paraphrase of our conversation.
AgoraFest: Why are you coming to AgoraFest this year? Why can’t you just leave us alone?
Ubu Roi: You have nothing to fear from us, unless you are part of Weishaupt’s gang. Our exact reasons for our presence at AgoraFest must remain unseen for now, however we welcome the attendees to explore opening their third eye with us.
Al tiuj, kiuj portas kostumojn. Ni konas la homojn kun la ora submarŝipo kaj parolemaj delfenoj amikoj.
AgoraFest: What, no hempscrip? Are you going to have any particular seminars or activities at your tent?
AgoraFest: Couldn’t have said it better myself. As far as I am concerned, the Illuminati (the Other Illuminati I mean) are not welcome at AgoraFest. We have enough trouble with those that still want to change the system from the inside! Well, hopefully you can help cure some of them of their mental illness. Looking forward to visiting with you, and try not to burn the place down.
Oh, and Hail Eris!
Ubu Roi: All Hail Discordia! Ni ne povas atendi al vidi kion viaj gastoj faros al ŝi kiam ili vidas ŝin.